Independence Day

Like many Americans we spent our Independence day at a BBQ and watching fireworks. It’s a lot of fun, and all the girls dressed patriotically. Independence is something very special to Americans… and to children. Sarah got her first taste of independence yesterday. She was invited to attend a birthday party….without her sisters. As you can imagine, this caused a little commotion and a lot of tears in our family. Nevertheless, I thought it was a good thing. My oldest has attended several parties, classes, and functions without her sisters due to age. The family that was hosting the party picked up all the little girls….in a limosene (the mom didn’t like SUV’s or minivans so they bought a limo…she thinks outside of the box). More tears. Sarah has been very independent since she was a baby. “I’ll do it myself” has been her motto for quite some time. She is also a little quieter than the other girls, so it was nice to see her shine without the competing “bright lights” of her sisters.

While Sarah’s adventure was good, I don’t think the American push to create independence in children at the youngest age possible is always beneficial….to the child. We push our kids to function independently very early so that we can send them away….to pre-school, Sunday school, baby-sitters, etc. When done at the right time, this benefits both the parent and the child. However, all to often this is done very early and the only one it really benefits is the person getting paid (the parent or the company). Capitalism should not make us forget family obligations.

America’s independence has been in jeporady for some time. Every election year, we put our independence on the line. There always seems to be one canidate running who wants to turn us into Europe…complete with government run healthcare, goverment paid college, big government rules, and bigger taxes. I wish the push that we put on kids to be independent would be redirected to teaching children the benefits of a country that values true liberty.

 

Slumber Parties

I had a nice visit with my friend Kim yesterday. We haven’t seen each other as regularly as we used to, because our paths in life are beginning to diverge.  Yesterday this was illustrated most painfully for Katherine. Kim’s daughter, MacKenzie (7 years), is having a slumber party tomorrow, and Katherine was invited.  However, Kim wanted to let me know that Katherine would be the only home-schooled child there, and all of the other girls tended to talk about boys….a lot.

I figured the slumber party would go a lot like this: They would talk about which boys they like, watch a movie, boys they want to kiss, eat pizza, boys they’d like as boyfriends, put on makeup, which stars they have crushes on, dress up, etcetera.  I wasn’t to enthused about this, but I didn’t give an answer.  I wanted to talk to Katherine first. I told Katherine my concerns, and she agreed that the slumber party was not a good situation. She was fine with not going until she found out that Sarah had been invited to a party on Saturday that she wasn’t invited to.  Missing two parties was more than she could handle. She cried and tried to find a way to make the slumber party more palatable. I reminded her that even she thought she’d be uncomfortable with all the boy-talk. In the end I agreed that we’d arrange a slumber party for her since this one wasn’t our cup of tea. Boy, if eight is this bad….what will 13 be like?

 

Family Friendly TV Favorites

Every so often, I have to search for something that is family friendly to watch. We live where TV reception is minimal to none (remember I live in the woods). We don’t watch enough TV to warrant paying for satellite. The cable lines stop about two miles away. Nevertheless, our family enjoys a show or movie about once a week. Over the years, I have found that we have different standards as to what is appropriate for children. My list is based on our religious beliefs,the ages of our children (eight and under), the morals and values that we have, and the maturity level of our kids. Some of the items may require a little “editing”. Others may require a good deal of discussion. We don’t mind a good “shootem-up-bang-bang” if there’s no real gore. I’m not a big fan of “teenage love/princess stories”…like Disney. I have placed ages next to some that may be to scary or intense for the younger kids. I also don’t like rude attitudes shown to my kids at this point. With four girls, why give them an example of rude attitudes! I’m sure I’ll forget things. Perhaps you’ve run across something I should consider…feel free to comment. Most of my choices are old shows, since we have to buy shows to view them. One last thing, since my kids don’t watch a lot of TV, they are not “used” to it. I have to edit things that some parents would feel are acceptable. Here’s the list…in no particular order.

Pride and Prejudice the movie

Pride and Prejudice A&E mini-series

Sense and Sensibility

Clifford the Big Red Dog

Karate Kid I (language editing)

Lord of the Rings (Trilogy) (7+)

Star Wars (original) (7+)

Scooby Doo (original)

Leap Frog learning series

John Wayne ….lots of them…

Narnia (1st movie…I haven’t seen the 2nd)

Ever After (version of Cinderella w/ Drew Barrymore)

Heidi

Andy Griffith

The Ten Commandments

Murder She Wrote

Arthur (public television cartoon….some editing for attitude)

A Knight’s Tale (editing of “kissing” scene)

Harry Potter (1 and 2 only) the rest have to much “teen” attitude

Wizard of Oz

The Wiz

Knight Rider

MacGuyver (a little on the “green”-side, but okay)

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the old one)

Swiss Family Robinson

Sound of Music

Babe (edited out the beginning)

The Nutcracker Ballet

Ostrov (The Island)

Matlock

My Fair Lady

The King and I

 

Unsocializing demographics

Yesterday and each Friday, is our park day.  We had a great time; we spent the entire day with friends. We spent the morning at the park (socializing with other home-schoolers), then had a play-date with another homeschooling family. No I am not forcing my children to only interact with people of like-mindedness with ourselves (I can already “hear” the arguments coming).  I cannot control who comes to the park. Today only home-schooling children or the very young were out playing.  Besides, the other homeschooling families in our groups would hardly be considered as “like-minded” with one another.  Our particular group is “multi-denominational” (not non-denominational) Christian.  However, our religious beliefs are so various, that we cannot really consider religion as something we have in common. Lutherans, Baptists, Catholics, non-denominational, and of course Orthodox are all socializing together. Some of our group members are politically far left, some are far right, we have “crunchy-cons”, and independents. There are those who lean towards unschooling methods all the way to classical schooling. We are soccer moms, professional moms, army moms, stay-home-moms, moms who’ve had a “civilian” career, and moms who have not. While all the moms in our group share homeschooling in common, it is about the only thing we really share in common. The wonderful variety of people at the park….gotta love it.

 

Where My Scattered Thoughts Abound

In remaining with my original intent to have a place to write, store, and share ideas that interest me, I beg your indulgence. I often read Father Steven Freeman’s blog www.fatherstephan.wordpress.com called Glory to God for All Things. Recently, he wrote a post that touched me. I responded to the article with a question. A portion of the article and the question and answers are posted below for my benefit. If you would like to read the entire article (titled Scattered Thoughts) and the rest of the comments, Father Stephan’s link is in the blogroll. -Dominica

According to the teaching of the Gospel and the Scriptures, the mind works naturally only when it is united with the heart. Mind and heart are naturally joined together when the fire of contrition is in the heart.

Archimandrite Zacharias in The Enlargement of the Heart.

I’m certain that my experience of prayer is similar to that of most of my readers - a struggle to pray with a scattered mind. To read of the return of the mind to the heart is to know how far my prayers are from where they should be. It is also a realization that to “love the Lord with all your heart, soul, and mind,” is virtually impossible in such a scattered state. We lack the wholeness to make such an offering.

The desire of my heart is to not forget that there is such a thing as a mind united to the heart. My desire is to settle for nothing less. There is an emptiness in theology when it remains only a recitation of ideas and a fantasy of the imagination.

Thus, when I speak of a fullness (as I often do in my writings), I speak of something that belongs to God and can only come to man as a gift. There is a fullness in the sacraments of the Church, though in our scattered state we approach that fullness only with faith - with a hope for what we do not yet see. There is a need for steadfastness in that hope - a steadfastness that refuses to turn aside for something less.

We have been promised heaven - indeed I believe the union of mind and heart is a place where that promise begins to be fulfilled. Thus I will not turn aside for something else - whether argument or curiosity. For the fantasies of our scattered thoughts are not the stuff of reality - only the stuff of delusion.

There are moments of clarity - even for those whose most common experience is a scattered state. These moments come as flashes - sometimes in the Liturgy - sometimes in prayer - sometimes in very unexpected places. The flashes themselves are gifts - small insights that call us to remain steadfast and not to turn aside from hope.

Robert Says:
June 30, 2008 at 12:44 pm

Fr. Stephen I am not sure if I fully understand the concept of a scattered mind. Perhaps you can explain a bit more? By scattered you mean distracted? Or “carnal”? In what sense is the scattered mind wrong, or useless? Wherein lies the distinction between the heart and the mind? “Return the mind to the heart” - does this not presume the heart needs to be in a good place? Is there such a thing as a distinctively Orthodox understanding of the mind and heart?

fatherstephen Says:
June 30, 2008 at 10:14 pm

Robert,

Yes, there is a distinctive Orthodox use of these words, which was once a common vocabulary, East and West, but became largely lost and forgotten over the centuries in the West for a variety of reasons.

The term “mind” I am using here for the “rational” part of who we are, that which processes sense data, etc. Heart I am using for the Greek “nous” which is more our Spiritual Perception that more or less intuitively knows God, right and wrong, etc. In the Orthodox understanding there is something of a fracture between these two as a result of the fall. In addition the “nous” or heart, is clouded and does not perceive as it should.

Generally the classic path in Orthodoxy, which was modeled on the original pattern of preparation for Baptism is: purification, illumination, deification (which is synonymous with the whole of salvation itself). If our hearts were pure, not clouded, we would “see God” as Christ taught in the Beatitudes.

Repentance and humility, as a way of life, are generally descriptive of the path a Christian should follow as we make our way forward. All of that coupled with the constant remembrance of God, thanksgiving in all things, and the life set forth in the Church and her sacraments.

That’s a very short description for something that should take volumes to describe. But I hope it’s helpful or clarifying.

To a certain degree, much of modern Protestant thought has tended to “externalize” the entire question of salvation in a misunderstanding of justification. Perhaps two of the best Protestant books ever written on the inner life are the classics Holy Living and Holy Dying by Jeremy Taylor (Anglican). Though his Holy Living has a bit of a moralistic tendency than you would find in classic Eastern works on the inner life - it is still a valuable read. They were translated into Russian at some point and enjoyed some success there.

 

Salt Water Pools

This weekend we attended the birthday party of a friend (in the blogroll as www.familyofblessings.wordpress.com). It was a wonderful pool party, the weather was perfect, and we had a lovely time. Abigail made a beautiful cake (almost to pretty to cut). The kids and I were really looking forward to swimming. This was Helena’s first time in a pool. Once I submerged my head under the water, I found that I was having a first experience too. It was a salt water pool. I had never heard of one, but I liked it. Salt water pools use salt to make chlorine, but the water is much softer. My hair and skin, and eyes were not irritated or affected by swimming. In fact my hair felt very soft. Katherine liked that it didn’t hurt to open her eyes under the water. I’m sold. Too bad Wal-mart doesn’t sell them…yet!

 

Mentors

It is almost accepted that boys need men to emulate and learn from. Women alone just don’t seem able to make a man. While it doesn’t always have to be the father that a boy learns from, it seems to take a man to make a man. I think this same thing holds true for women too. Women need guidance as our roles change from daughters and sisters, to wives and mothers. These role-models often appear in our lives as mothers but also as aunts and friends. Since women tend to be more social and surround ourselves with friends this is often overlooked. Today I had the very great pleasure of entertaining one of my mentors for a brief visit. The Klause ladies are wonderful friends, and I have learned so much about femininity, motherhood, faith, and balance from Mrs. Klause. Her friendship has truly been a blessing (and sometimes a needed “kick in the pants”). Though we now live a little to far away to visit regularly with each other, we visit each other’s blogs. You can find hers at www.clothedwithscarlet.typepad.com. She is always “into” something cooking, sewing, crafts, and more.

 

Chew With Your Mouth Closed

There was a kissing scene in a movie that I was watching with the girls. The older two did the typical “yuck/ick”. While Elizabeth asked, “Mom, why is he chewing her face?”

This is a picture of Elizabeth before she turned one (she’s now three). She’s “chewing” on her friend Nicholas.

 

Fat, Bald, and Toothless Lady

Our country is fairly obsessed with it’s looks. Our self images are often derived from comparisons with famous people in magazines or on televisions. Women in particular are targeted. Women have been sold the idea that beauty is young, skinny, perfect, and sold in a bottle. Beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes. There is beauty in every person if you look for it, because everyone is made in the image of God (whether they like it or not). Here is a picture of our very own beautiful fat, bald, and toothless lady.

 

Until….

The following excerpt was written by Diane Hopkins and the entire article is posted at http://www.lovetolearn.net/policies/baby.lasso

How to be a Christlike person is the most valuable lesson a child could ever learn! The lesson is learned moment by moment; watching a parent being patient, handling frustration with kindness, pressing on for the goal in spite of numerous interruptions, valuing each child’s needs regardless of inconvenience. That valuable insight–how Mother handles the baby is the real lesson–has dramatically changed how I view my home school. I am teaching foremost my values: godly character, kindness, respect for others, individuality, sacrifice and a host of other Christlike attributes. Teaching them reading, writing, math, etc. is very important to me but my perspective has been altered. “Mimic me, follow me and I will show you the way a Christlike person acts and what he values”. That is the message every parent relays to their children whether they are aware of it or not. Children try to copy everything anyway (our mannerisms, our daily activities, etc.). We must be certain that we are providing a correct pattern for them to copy, not only in our daily activities but in our attitude, our tone of voice, and our facial expression. We need to conduct our lives so that we can say “follow me”. If our children are to “buy” our values, what a tremendous responsibility we have to make sure we are living our best so the lesson is clear and well learned! What more could you ask for from your homeschool than to produce Christlike people?!

I’m an organized and structured type personality, though I often desire to be more creative.  I have my lists and schedules down to a science.  If you read this list during Great Lent, you know that I was working on certain “bad habits” that had crept into my relationship with the kids. I realized what Diane expressed so well, that reading, writing, and math are important, but not more important than the example I give. Many of the errors that I correct with the kids, started with me. If their tone of voice is sharp, then my own is probably sharp too. It can be very humbling (and funny) to see your children imitate you. Good habits such as reading and hobbies (I like to garden) are also learned by an observant child. It is tempting to put off doing the things I enjoy “until”….until the house is clean, until the kids are older, until dad can come, until we finish “x,y,or z”, until the kids are asleep, until school is done, etc.  Putting off fun projects has become a bad habit.  I do this frequently waiting for a day “until…”.  By doing so, I miss the chance to give the girls a good example. Parents are often told to “catch your child doing something right”.  It seems to work both ways.  Go do something fun….the kids are watching.

 

Neither Too Gentle Nor Too Kind

Father Stephen had the following quote from Saint Seraphim of Sarov posted on his blog today. When I saw it, I knew it should have been a part of my Lenten Challenge. I am a fairly direct person (some would say blunt…and they wouldn’t be wrong) and I have a military background.  Those two things in tandem leave me with a tendency to be less gentle and kind with my family members than I ought to be. By the way if you haven’t been reading Father Stephen’s blog lately, you are missing out on some great articles.

You cannot be too gentle, too kind.

Shun even to appear harsh in your treatment of each other.

Joy, radiant joy, streams from the face of him who gives and kindles joy in the heart of him who receives.

All condemnation is from the devil. Never condemn each other…

Instead of condemning others, strive to reach inner peace.

Keep silent, refrain from judgment. This will raise you above the deadly arrows of slander, insult, and outrage and will shield your glowing hearts against all evil.

 

Mother’s Day

My mom’s a strong woman (that’s her in the picture).  She raised me, and I’m a strong woman. I didn’t have to rebel against my mom nor follow to closely in her shadow. She let me find my own way, and didn’t fret much when my own choices took me down “the path less traveled by”.   I’ve never been one to “follow the crowd”, and she’s been my defender;  quietly quelling the comments from well-meaning people who thought my choices of religion, family, and schooling were a bit unusual.    My mother is a unique personality, and I wouldn’t be the woman that I am without her.  Happy Mother’s Day mom.

 

The Final Challenge…Late but not forgotten

My final challenge was to simply be more openly affectionate and loving. This may seem simple to many of you, but for me it is not something that comes naturally.  Growing up, my family tended to do more “acts of service” to demonstrate love and affection for one another.  It is easy for me to hug and kiss all over the little ones, but as the girls are getting older my own awkwardness is surfacing.  It is outside of my comfort zone to give great big squishy hugs to people.  However, this is something that I always admire in other people and families. No better time like the present to start admiring it in my own family.

 

Paschal Greetings!

Christ is Risen! Christos Voskrese! Christos Anesti!
Truly He is Risen! Voistinu Voskrese! Alithos Anesti!

Our family is still recovering from a wonderful Pascha (Orthodox Easter). We have always taken the girls to the church celebration. I decided long ago that I didn’t want to miss Pascha. If I hired a babysitter, I would be exhausted but the kids would be ready to play. Therefore, we all go to Pascha, and we all sleep late. So far none of the kids have ever fallen asleep during the Paschal service once they reach toddler age (the service starts around 10PM and last until about 3AM). Towards the end, I might have enjoyed it had my three year old fallen asleep. She wasn’t to happy about how long she had to wait for communion. If there was a small pause in the service, she would quickly fill it with, “Are we done yet?” She quickly perked up when it was time to eat! Christ is Risen! Truly He is Risen!

 

Holy week’s challenge

For those who are following along on the Lenten Challenge, I apologize for missing last week. I can only ask for your prayers as our family is having a large test of faith.  The final challenge will be posted for Bright Week.  Since we are having a few difficulties, I have decided that this week’s challenge is to be more affectionate and loving. I have noticed that many of the bad habits that I’ve developed with my family members could easily be resolved with more love. After all, love doesn’t complain or criticize, love speaks with a good tone of voice, love helps when asked, love spends time playing with the kids, and love is affectionate.   I have recently admired moms and “tween” daughters who were openly affectionate with one another.  I don’t openly show affection readily, so this week’s challenge is more difficult for me than it may sound.

 

Under attack, under our noses

It’s common to hear parents say that childhood and children are under attack. Advertisers target our children with toys, candies, and other things. This is all “common knowledge”. It’s so common, in fact, that we have stopped paying attention to it. What isn’t commonly noticed is who is really under attack. Girls are the target, at least for now. The list of teenage female idols is growing. Advertisers aren’t selling candy and dolls to our little girls. They aren’t even selling clothes and makeup (but they use it). What they are really selling is an image, an idea. They are selling the desire to be popular, cool, and fashionable. They don’t have to advertise sexy clothing, they just make nothing else available. Katherine moved out of the little girl sizes this year, and we had to buy new clothes. The clothing and television shows marketed to little girls is scandalous, yet parents buy the clothing and allow the shows. I guess they feel it’s to hard to go against the crowd. Most moms agree that they would do anything for their children. There’s no better time to prove it. I don’t bother trying to make a statement to manufactures and Hollywood, they don’t care. I would rather make a statement to my daughters that I love them and care more about their soul than their popularity.

 

This Week’s Challenge

Tonight after we finished reading the Canon of Saint Andrew (we broke it up throughout the day), we gave the girls some cookies (they deserved a treat).  While sitting at the table with Sarah and Elizabeth, I told them, “You guys are pretty cool.” Sarah looked at me and said, “Why aren’t you?”.  I admit that I wasn’t to happy about not being cool to my 5 year old. I asked her why she thought I wasn’t cool. She said I was a little bit cool, but I didn’t swing with them or do fun stuff.  UGGG.  I know it’s been a while, but I didn’t think I’d loose my cool status that fast.  When I looked on my list of things I wanted to work on it was timely that the next objective was: spend quality time with the kids.   I’m with them all the time.  They cook and clean with me. We do school together.  We go everywhere together.  We read books together, but somehow this has not translated to fun time. I have to admit, I agree. Oh we have fun cooking, cleaning, driving, and doing school, but it isn’t the same as a good pillow fight.

 

Half Way There…4th Week’s Challenge

We are half way through the Lenten season.  I’ve done better in some areas than others, but I’m still not where I’d like to be.   I’ve noticed that I tend to refer the little ones to their big sisters, if I’m involved in something. Since this isn’t what I’d like to teach the girls, I guess I should improve upon it myself. This week’s challenge is to help, joyfully, when asked.  Unless there is a legitimate reason for the kids not to help, I expect them to help when asked with a good attitude.  This must then be the same standard for myself.

 

3 rd Challenge-Watch Your Tone of Voice

How many times have mothers repeated the phrase “Watch your tone of voice.” or some variation? I have four girls, so it is repeated at least a couple of times a week at our house (I think girls are more prone to voicing “attitude” than boys). Part of the reason this phrase is used so much at our home is my own fault. I have not always set a great example. This week’s challenge is to control my tone of voice. I am still continuing to work on the previous two challenges. Although I have made changes, there is still much room for improvement.

 

Those first smiles

In the quiet of the night, I get to see what all others miss,

Those first smiles.

Smiles that are reserved for just mother alone.

Smiles that erase weariness and frustration.

A spontaneous outpouring of happiness and joy from one so small,

Washes away all other feelings

And one is left with overwhelming love,

And a smile.

-Dominica

 

Tattling

A writer on one of my yahoo groups asked what our rule for tattling was. After posting our family’s rule, she then asked why I thought tattling was wrong.

In our house our tattling rule is:

If it didn’t hurt anyone or anything, you don’t tattle. (Mom will find out for herself)

If you tattle, you have to apologize to the person you tattled on.

I’ve explained tattling to my kids this way:

1. “Tattling is wrong because you are trying to make yourself
look good by making someone else look bad. We should try not
point out other people’s sins, because we all sin.”…. get the
beam out thy own eye…..

2. We treat people the way we’d want to be treated… “If you
did something wrong that didn’t hurt anyone or anything, would
you want someone to tattle on you?”

3. Tattling is a form of bossiness. A child who tattles or
threatens to, is using the parents to get their way. “I am the
mom and I have eyes. If someone does something wrong that
doesn’t hurt anyone or anything, you don’t tell. I will find out
for myself. If I don’t find it, don’t worry God sees it.”

 

Memory Eternal!

Dear Brothers & Sisters in Christ,

On Sunday morning, which happened to be the Sunday of Orthodoxy, the Primate of ROCOR Metropolitan Laurus passed to the Lord at Holy Trinity Monastery in Jordanville, New York.

 Memory Eternal! Vechnaya pamyat’!

 

2nd Week’s challenge

My husband summed Lent up quite nicely:

Lent is an opportunity to begin to throw off the universal impulse to justify one’s actions, to learn to apply increased strictness with oneself alone, but increased kindness,gentleness, [and] patience for all others. (Hopefully these don’t end with Lent, but Lent is an annual “wake up” call/invitation to acquire new [and] better habits of thought,feeling, [and] action.)

Last week I worked on getting back on schedule. I was partially successful. I use the schedule to make sure I “get in” the important things. This week I will continue to work at getting and keeping us on schedule, but I will also add the next challenge.

It is easy to catch my kids doing something wrong. This week’s challenge involves catching them doing something right. This week I am going to work on not complaining or criticizing when something is wrong (after all I don’t want them complaining and criticizing). Instead I am going to compliment what was done right and ask for what I want. For example: “You did a good job making your bed. I would like you to please put away the milk.”

 

Happy Birthday Sarah

Today is Sarah’s fifth birthday. Where does the time go?

 

Worth the read….

 Father Stephan wrote a wonderful piece today.  You can find the whole essay here The Sacrament of the Present Moment

Father Stephan’s essays are often so packed full of beauty, theology, and insight that I often can’t absorb all of it in one sitting.  I particularly like his essays about Christianity in a One-storey Universe.  It is a series of essays but well worth the read.

There is a wonderful translation of Jean-Pierre De Caussade’s  Self-Abandonment to Divine Providence, which bears the same title as this post. I am borrowing the phrase, not to comment on the volume (though I highly recommend it), but to bring into focus something of at least equal importance.

It is the reality of our moment by moment encounter with God. We confess that God is everywhere present and fills all things, but we still largely walk through the world treating all the things that we encounter as just that - things. We carry no sense within us that God is in fact sharing His life with us in and through all things.

This goes to the very heart of living life as though the world were secular, of living life in a “two-storey” universe - the storey in which we live being the one not inhabited by God.

But God is indeed “everywhere present and filling all things.” One of the clearest examples of this in Scripture is to be found in the resurrected Christ’s encounter with the two disciples on the road to Emmaus. They conversed and the disciples did not recognized Him. Indeed, their hearts “burned” within them as they walked along and He instructed them in Scripture concerning the Christ. But things became clear - they recognized the risen Lord when He stopped with them for the evening meal. There He “took bread, blessed, broke and gave it to them,” and we are told, “their eyes were opened.” Those four verbs, “take, bless, break, and give,” are always used in Eucharistic encounters in Scripture. They are keys for our understanding. Nonetheless, the Scriptures do not say that there was a “formal” liturgy or even a clearly demarcated sacred meal. Only that Christ was present, and that He “took bread, blessed, broke and gave it too them.” And He was made known to them.

The Eucharist reveals Christ to us. But as Fr. Alexander Schmemann always noted, the Eucharist not only reveals Christ to us, it also reveals the true nature of creation to us. Bread can no longer be the same if Christ has taken it and made it His body.

…God is “everywhere present and filling all things,” thus there is no “normal and ordinary,” no “secular.” Everything is changed. There is no eating of bread that is not a communion with God. There is no encounter with a tree that is not an encounter with the hard wood of the cross, the “weapon of peace.”

In Jeremiah (23:23-24) we read:

Am I a God at hand, saith the LORD, and not a God afar off? Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the LORD. Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the LORD.

We do not have a “neutral zone” where we live apart from God. Instead, we have zones of ignorance, where believing Christians live as unbelievers, awaiting their next attendance at a “God permitted” zone.

. …But everything else holds the possibility of encounter with God as surely as the holy water within the Church or every sacrament He has given us. “The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof.”

 

 

A Challenge and a Change for Lent

Today was our first “official” day of Great Lent.  The 40 days prior to the Lord’s resurrection is a time to “refocus” our lives towards God.   This is a time of increased fasting, prayer, alms-giving, good works, spiritual struggle (podvig), and hopefully spiritual growth. It is a time to redirect our lives towards God and to remove some of the day to day distractions.  It is the time we have to prepare to “meet God”. It is a time of repentance and a time to change.

There are a few things that I would like to change in my day to day life , and most of them are parenting related. Being a mother is a work blessed by God, and I’ve been blessed four times over.  However, over time there are some bad habits that have crept into my relationship with the kids that I would like to change. I have challenged myself to “renew” the relationship I have with my kids by actively working on some areas that have “fallen by the wayside”.

This week I am focusing on getting back on schedule.  We haven’t been able to do our prayers or readings (we typically read the short life of the saint commemorated for the day and the commentary for the Gospel and  Epistle) as a family since I got off schedule in December.  For me this means getting up earlier (but not grumpier), and doing things (housework, computer, etc.) at the appropriate time. I don’t believe in being a slave to a schedule, but I use it to help keep me focused and moving in the right direction.

Join me in the challenge.  What would you like to change?

 

Playing Favorites

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 

-Philippians 4:8

…and a favorite picture from the baptism

 

 

Ronda’s reply

Yesterday, Rhonda wrote to me privately in response to the post Mamma Said There’d Be Days Like This. It was very nice and I liked her insight into offering hospitality. She has permitted me to publish a portion of it that caught my attention.

She described herself reading a magazine many years ago and her reaction to it. The article was about suffering children in Romania who had been abandoned by their mothers (and apparently their fathers and other relatives). There was a picture of a poor abandoned little girl who was about three years old. The picture moved her to recall a passage of scripture and to a new insight as to applying that passage.

For I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty, and you gave me drink: I was a stranger, and you took me in: naked, and you clothed me: I was sick, and you visited me… Whoever welcomes a child, welcomes Me… Suffer the little children to come unto Me…

All of a sudden those words shed new light even on being pregnant — to show hospitality to a stranger who has arrived on your “doorstep” hungry, thirsty, a stranger, naked, sometimes sick… I wondered about that little girl. Where was her momma? And I thought about how every night my little girls climbed in between clean, cool sheets, with full tummies, and prayers, and hugs and kisses, and I realized in that moment that in a way, I was the only thing standing between my girls and the cold, hard world… If I didn’t do for them the things that they needed… who would? I saw what I already knew about being a mother was true, but I saw it in a little different light — that being a mom is not just another job, one of many that we liberated American women can choose, but it is an opportunity to love Christ Himself — a direct response to the words of Jesus about how we are to treat other human beings…

I have never thought of loving a new baby (the stranger in the house) as hospitality (it’s so much fun!). You are certainly welcoming someone new into your life who has very specific needs when you bring home a new baby. In America it seems that everyone is so disconnected from each other, that it is rare to get to practice hospitality. Thanks Ronda for reminding me that true hospitality begins with being “hospitable” to the ones I love right here at home.

 

On the Menu 4 Mar 08

Cheesefare Week

Breakfast:

Cereal

Lunch:

Leftover Tuna helper with broccoli

Dinner (gymnastics night):

Tuna Sandwhiches

Four Cheese Rice Risotto

Animal Crackers

 

Not That Kind of Parent

“…it is not only to cease from evil that brings purity, but actively to destroy evil by pursuing what is good.”
St. Diadochos of Photiki.

The above is a quote that was posted to one of the yahoo groups that I belong to. It falls in-line with something that I’ve been pondering for a couple of days. I’ve come to realize that it isn’t enough to know what behaviors I don’t want to do. I have to know what I do want to do. My little three year old has a feisty temper and a strong will (not to mention clear speech and a decent vocabulary…which she uses to talk-back). It may serve her well when she’s older (or she may just struggle with it). Right now it is serving me well. She is teaching me patience as well as all kinds of things about my own short-comings. I have found that in the absence of a plan, I tend to fall back to the same behaviors or techniques that I don’t want to use anymore (for various reasons). It isn’t enough to know what kind of parent I don’t want to be; I have to actively seek to become the kind of parent that I’ve always wanted to be.